Year off dating

Last June, I decided to take a year off dating. Here is my account of this past year: 

Where did this year go? And what happened to the girl who started this year? I feel like a different person. Older, and maybe even a little wiser. 

 

I started the year of dating for selfish purposes. I was stuck between guys and I wanted there to be a reason for the singleness I had found myself in. So I decided to take a year off dating. A year to celebrate singleness and the uncomplicated-ness of it. But during this year, I have found myself. My calling, my passion, my heart. I have found a reason for this life and for what has happened in this life. I have faced sucesses and I have faced failures. I have had people I love die. I have lost friends. I have looked darkness in the eye and laughed. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and because of His glorious love, I fear no evil. I know that He is there, and that He is my one true beloved. One day, in my dance with God, he will let the right man cut in. But for now, God and I are going to dance tangos together. Tied up in his glorious love and plan for my life. Hallelujah!

 

So, what started as a simple year of dating has evolved into a glorious relationship with my Lord. So now, instead of "taking a year off dating" I am taking a year to get closer to God and to gain new insights into myself. And after this goal, I just might start another one. Not to hide behind, but to celebrate in.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is such a taboo subject in our world. And this is mainly because people force forgiving and forgetting into the same category. I don't believe they belong together. I don't think there is any credibility in the old saying "Forgive and forget." Forgiving does not mean letting someone off the hook for what they have done to you. Forgiving is simply allowing yourself to acknowledge that an action hurt you, and then to let the person who did the hurting know that they hurt you. It puts the ball into their court so to speak. I ran across a quote by Lewis Smedes that really helped me with forgiveness, and I'm going to share it with you now. "When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it." 

In forgiving an act done towards us, we are calling it what it is. Something that hurt. Letting the other person know they have hurt you, and that you have forgiven them for that pain. A lot of people I have talked to who have been deeply hurt hold out on forgiveness because of the fact that they are not ready to forget. Some things can never be forgotten. But by holding on to the pain, you cause it to rule you. Run your life, and let the person who wronged you stay in control. Forgiving them is gaining back that control, and letting go of the bitterness that might have stopped you from forgiving. Just my thoughts on the subject.